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November 3, 2007
4:02 PM
162 - what's happened...
Here's what's happened recently...
Brother -- Back in hospital. Bad infection in leg that was partially amputated back in June. More of leg removed surgically yesterday.
Me -- Ran out of Welbutrin. Don't bother looking it up. It's an anti-depressant. I don't know when I ran out, but unlike other times, this was not intentional. I only realized the other day when I noticed how I was reacting to situations at work and at home. The stress and other factors with my brother (see above) and work (see below) were making me act differently. I have to phone the pharmacy to see if I have any re-fills left. I'm sure I do. I have to. I need it badly.
Work -- Talk about uncertainty. I got an e-mail from someone at another store last week. She had been at our store helping train people for the new store that's opening later this month. She got back to her store and one of the girls in her office had been "leg go" and she was told that she'd have to take on those responsibilities as well as her own. Not much of a story except the other girl was told that her job had been eliminated. Still not much of a story except that I have the same job as the girl whose job had been eliminated. What am I supposed to think? I wrote an e-mail to my boss and his boss and asked for a discussion or a written letter explaining this situation. Of course I got the traditional letter that that wasn't going to happen here. The other store's situation was blah, blah, blah... I don't trust anyone anymore.
Life -- Without the Welbutrin, life sucks. What a way to have to exist. Depend on a drug to feel good about life... about everything. I feel the way I used to feel before I started taking anti-depressants. My whole life was unhappy. Right from my first memories to about five years ago when I was properly diagnosed with Dysthymia*. Specifically, I suffer from Atypical Depression which is a sub-type of Dysthymia. It means that even though I suffer most of the symptoms listed below in the definition, I can react positively to some positive stimuli and experience sudden levels of joy and happiness. It also, unfortunately, means I suffer two very negative problems... over eating and over sleeping. Anyway, the point is, I guess, right now life sucks. It really, really sucks. I mean, it sucks MAJORLY.
* Dysthymia: Many people just walk around seeming depressed - - simply sad, blue or melancholic. They have been this way all of their lives. This is dysthymia - - a condition that people are not even aware of but just live with daily. They go through life feeling unimportant, dissatisfied, frightened and simply don't enjoy their lives. Medication is beneficial for this type of depression.
Anti-depressants (in general) -- Word to the wise... Be careful if you're prescribed Effexor. It's a type of anti-depressant that I was given initially when diagnosed with Dysthymia. It had a major effect on me. Sexually. In 8 to 16% of men, it delayed ejaculation and orgasm. Big time! When I engaged in sexual activity (with someone or alone) it could take as long as 30 to 60 minutes to ejaculate and orgasm. Even then, if I ejaculated, the orgasm was sometimes painful. Now, some may think that delayed ejaculation might be a good thing. Thirty to sixty minutes of activity? Know how painful my boyfriend's ass was at the end of that long a time? He couldn't take it. I bet even a woman would say STOP after being fucked for that long. Imagine how difficult it was for me to keep going for that long without stopping to rest. Human beings weren't designed to engage in sustained sexual activity for that length of time. I don't care what anyone says... it's not natural! It might sound good, but it wasn't. Not one bit.
Banks -- They suck. BIG TIME! Why do we have to have banks? Just think, we have banks so we have a place where our employer can deposit our pay cheques automatically so they don't have to cut a cheque. Then, no matter what we do, the bank charges us money to do it. To counter that, they give us a whopping .05% to maybe .1% if you've got a high enough balance. Even savings accounts only get you about 3% and that's only if you have $250,000 or more in your account. Yeah, right!
That's my rant for the day. Hope your day doesn't suck as much as mine does. Oh, don't forget to turn your clocks back one hour tonight before going to bed. At least ONE thing today doesn't suck.
Brother -- Back in hospital. Bad infection in leg that was partially amputated back in June. More of leg removed surgically yesterday.
Me -- Ran out of Welbutrin. Don't bother looking it up. It's an anti-depressant. I don't know when I ran out, but unlike other times, this was not intentional. I only realized the other day when I noticed how I was reacting to situations at work and at home. The stress and other factors with my brother (see above) and work (see below) were making me act differently. I have to phone the pharmacy to see if I have any re-fills left. I'm sure I do. I have to. I need it badly.
Work -- Talk about uncertainty. I got an e-mail from someone at another store last week. She had been at our store helping train people for the new store that's opening later this month. She got back to her store and one of the girls in her office had been "leg go" and she was told that she'd have to take on those responsibilities as well as her own. Not much of a story except the other girl was told that her job had been eliminated. Still not much of a story except that I have the same job as the girl whose job had been eliminated. What am I supposed to think? I wrote an e-mail to my boss and his boss and asked for a discussion or a written letter explaining this situation. Of course I got the traditional letter that that wasn't going to happen here. The other store's situation was blah, blah, blah... I don't trust anyone anymore.
Life -- Without the Welbutrin, life sucks. What a way to have to exist. Depend on a drug to feel good about life... about everything. I feel the way I used to feel before I started taking anti-depressants. My whole life was unhappy. Right from my first memories to about five years ago when I was properly diagnosed with Dysthymia*. Specifically, I suffer from Atypical Depression which is a sub-type of Dysthymia. It means that even though I suffer most of the symptoms listed below in the definition, I can react positively to some positive stimuli and experience sudden levels of joy and happiness. It also, unfortunately, means I suffer two very negative problems... over eating and over sleeping. Anyway, the point is, I guess, right now life sucks. It really, really sucks. I mean, it sucks MAJORLY.
* Dysthymia: Many people just walk around seeming depressed - - simply sad, blue or melancholic. They have been this way all of their lives. This is dysthymia - - a condition that people are not even aware of but just live with daily. They go through life feeling unimportant, dissatisfied, frightened and simply don't enjoy their lives. Medication is beneficial for this type of depression.
Anti-depressants (in general) -- Word to the wise... Be careful if you're prescribed Effexor. It's a type of anti-depressant that I was given initially when diagnosed with Dysthymia. It had a major effect on me. Sexually. In 8 to 16% of men, it delayed ejaculation and orgasm. Big time! When I engaged in sexual activity (with someone or alone) it could take as long as 30 to 60 minutes to ejaculate and orgasm. Even then, if I ejaculated, the orgasm was sometimes painful. Now, some may think that delayed ejaculation might be a good thing. Thirty to sixty minutes of activity? Know how painful my boyfriend's ass was at the end of that long a time? He couldn't take it. I bet even a woman would say STOP after being fucked for that long. Imagine how difficult it was for me to keep going for that long without stopping to rest. Human beings weren't designed to engage in sustained sexual activity for that length of time. I don't care what anyone says... it's not natural! It might sound good, but it wasn't. Not one bit.
Banks -- They suck. BIG TIME! Why do we have to have banks? Just think, we have banks so we have a place where our employer can deposit our pay cheques automatically so they don't have to cut a cheque. Then, no matter what we do, the bank charges us money to do it. To counter that, they give us a whopping .05% to maybe .1% if you've got a high enough balance. Even savings accounts only get you about 3% and that's only if you have $250,000 or more in your account. Yeah, right!
That's my rant for the day. Hope your day doesn't suck as much as mine does. Oh, don't forget to turn your clocks back one hour tonight before going to bed. At least ONE thing today doesn't suck.